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In today's workplace, vulnerability is increasingly recognised as a powerful tool for building trust and fostering healthy relationships within teams. However, for managers, walking the fine line between being authentically vulnerable and oversharing can be challenging.

Strategies for Balancing Vulnerability

Vulnerability in leadership is not about revealing every personal detail or struggle with our teams. Instead, it is about creating a safe space for open communication while maintaining professionalism and empathy. Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability, emphasises the importance of "selective transparency" – being open and vulnerable in a thoughtful and intentional way. Leaders can implement various strategies to balance vulnerability with their teams.

1. Develop Self-Awareness

Cultivate a deep understanding of your emotions, triggers, and personal boundaries. Regular self-reflection can help you identify what you are comfortable sharing and what might be too personal. Consider keeping a journal to track your thoughts and feelings, or engage in mindfulness practices to enhance your emotional intelligence.

2. Practise Selective Transparency

Choose what to share based on its relevance and potential impact on your team. Before disclosing information, ask yourself: "Will this help my team or improve our work environment?" If the answer is yes, proceed thoughtfully. If not, it might be best to keep it private. Remember, the goal is to create connections, not to burden your team with personal issues.

3. Assess Trust Levels

Build trust gradually over time. Start with smaller disclosures and gauge the reactions of your team. As trust deepens, you can share more significant vulnerabilities. Be mindful that trust levels may vary among team members, so adjust your approach accordingly.

4. Consider the Context

Timing and setting matter when it comes to vulnerable disclosures. A one-on-one meeting might be more appropriate for personal shares than a large team gathering. Similarly, consider the current state of your team or project – a high-stress period might not be the best time for certain vulnerable discussions.

5. Pair Challenges with Solutions

When discussing difficulties or uncertainties, always strive to provide a path forward. This approach demonstrates both honesty about challenges and confidence in overcoming them. For example, if sharing concerns about a project timeline, also present potential strategies to address the issue.

6. Lead by Example

Encourage a culture of openness by modelling appropriate vulnerability. Share your own learning experiences, including mistakes and how you have grown from them. This can create a psychologically safe environment where team members feel comfortable doing the same.

7. Seek Feedback

Regularly check in with your team about your leadership style. Ask trusted colleagues or mentors for their honest opinion on your level of openness. This feedback can help you fine-tune your approach to vulnerability and ensure you're striking the right balance.

By implementing these strategies, you can create an environment that benefits from the power of vulnerability while maintaining professional boundaries and respect for all team members.

What to Avoid

While being vulnerable, managers should be cautious not to cross certain lines. Here are some topics to avoid:

1. Detailed personal health issues

While it's okay to mention you are not feeling well, sharing intricate details about medical conditions or procedures can make team members uncomfortable. It may also lead to unwanted speculation about your ability to perform your duties.

2. Intimate relationship problems

Discussing marital issues or conflicts with family members can blur professional boundaries. It might make team members feel like they are being pulled into your personal life in ways that are inappropriate for the workplace.

3. Personal financial struggles

Talking about personal debt or financial difficulties can create awkwardness, especially if you are in a position of authority. It might also raise concerns about your decision-making abilities in a professional context.

4. Specific personal hygiene habits

Mentioning details about personal grooming routines can be off-putting and is generally considered too private for a professional setting. It can create unnecessary discomfort among team members.

5. Emotional venting without consideration

While it is important to acknowledge emotions, using the workplace as a platform to vent personal frustrations without considering the impact on others can create a negative atmosphere. It may also make team members feel responsible for managing your emotions.

Remember, the goal of vulnerability in leadership is to create connections and foster trust, not to burden your team with personal issues that are better addressed in private settings or with appropriate support systems.

Real-World Examples of Vulnerable Leadership

Let’s delve deeper into how leaders across various industries and positions have demonstrated vulnerable leadership:

Satya Nadella (Microsoft)

Nadella has been open about his personal experiences and how they have shaped his leadership. In his book "Hit Refresh," he shared about his son's medical challenges and how it taught him empathy. He wrote, "It has had a profound impact on how I think about work and life and has shaped my leadership journey." In practice, Nadella encourages his team to share their failures and learnings. He often starts meetings by sharing his own recent mistakes or learnings, setting a tone that it is safe for others to do the same.

Marc Benioff (Salesforce)

During the COVID-19 pandemic, Benioff demonstrated vulnerability by openly discussing the uncertainties facing the company. In a company-wide email, he wrote, "We're making decisions as quickly as we can with all the information we have. Things are changing every day, and we're doing our best to communicate when decisions are made." Benioff also shared personal struggles, like when he had to lay off employees. He said, "I'm grieving for those employees that we've had to make a difficult decision about." This showed his emotional investment in his team's wellbeing.

Indra Nooyi (Former PepsiCo CEO)

Nooyi has been particularly open about the challenges of balancing work and family life. In her book "My Life in Full," she shared a personal anecdote about how she felt when her daughter complained about her long working hours. She wrote, "I felt guilty and sad and angry at the world for making me choose between being a good mother and being a good executive." In the workplace, Nooyi used these personal experiences to advocate for better work-life balance policies. She implemented programs like on-site childcare and extended parental leave, showing how personal vulnerability can lead to positive organisational changes.

Arne Sorenson (Late CEO of Marriott International)

Sorenson demonstrated remarkable vulnerability during the COVID-19 crisis. In a video message to employees, he openly shared the company's struggles, saying, "COVID-19 is like nothing we've ever seen before. For a company that's 92 years old, that's borne witness to the Great Depression, World War II, and many other economic and global crises, that's saying something." He also took a personal approach, announcing that he and the executive team would be taking salary cuts. This showed solidarity with employees during a difficult time and demonstrated a willingness to share in the company's challenges.

Conclusion

Vulnerability in leadership is not about grand revelations, but rather small, authentic moments that build trust over time. As you navigate this delicate balance, remember that thoughtful vulnerability is your greatest asset in creating a resilient and connected team. Embrace it wisely, and watch as it transforms not just your leadership, but your entire organisation.

References:

How Can Managers Be Vulnerable Without Oversharing?