Languishing? You aren’t the only one
What is languishing, why am I languishing, and what can I do about it? Here’s a closer look at one of 2021’s most popular buzzwords.
Tick any of those boxes? You might be languishing.
Having gained traction on social media channels as a dominant emotion in 2021, if you’re languishing, don’t worry — you definitely aren’t alone. In this article, we’ll go through what exactly languishing means, why you might be experiencing it, and give a few tips on how you can come to terms and cope with it.
What is languishing?
Languishing has many definitions, but it’s most easily understood as a combination of stagnation, meaninglessness, monotony, and a lack of closure. It’s a state of mental/emotional purgatory with a constant sense of being ‘neither here nor there’, and was termed by Corey Keyes to describe the opposite of flourishing.
Days, things, and life start to feel like a blur. In the long term, you might find that living life lacks meaning and feel frustrated at yourself for not doing anything about it, even if you genuinely want to.
However, just because languishing isn’t a mental illness but rather a ’series of emotions’, you shouldn’t trivialise or punish yourself for how you feel. It is a very valid state of mind shared by people across the world, and the first step to getting out of that rut is to better understand how it came about.
Why am I languishing?
Languishing can happen to anyone, but the reason it has become such a central and relatable emotion, like many other things, can be attributed to COVID-19. Over a year into the pandemic, even with occasional moments of hope like the emergence of vaccines or dips in cases, we are subconsciously aware of our powerlessness. Trudging through this state of uncertainty feels endless.
From feeling a need to balance everything to worrying about the health of ourselves and our loved ones, our daily lives are prone to appearing trivial. Consequently, everyday activities lose meaning despite their importance in reality, which explains the inertia that we’ve been experiencing that inhibits our productivity.
This ongoing collective experience has universalised languishing, as the many adaptations and stressors that accompany it have taken a protracted strain on our mental health.
How can I stop languishing?
Just as everyone may languish differently, successfully coping with languishing differs between people too. There’s no way of foreseeing if or when the pandemic will draw to a close, but there are steps that you can take to minimise living in numb neutrality. Here are three tips from Calm Collective:
1) Set your boundaries
Working from home, attending remote classes, and lockdowns have blurred the boundaries we’ve previously set to keep our lives in balance. Unable to disassociate these elements, we inevitably end up spending rest time thinking about work/school, leading to mental exhaustion and burnout. This closely echoes the lethargy and unproductivity that accompany languishing, doesn’t it?
If you’re addicted to staring at screens, use the ‘Screen Time’ function to set restrictions on the amount of time you can spend on a particularly distracting app, and you might just find that you’ve suddenly got more hours in a day.
Fix a schedule for yourself that clearly segregates work/school-time, ‘me time’ (try getting in 1 pleasurable activity per day!), and other activities like socialising or exercise. Where possible, you can even establish a separate area to replicate the physical boundaries that exist under normal circumstances. These will help you re-establish structure and balance in your daily life so that everything feels less muddied.
2) Do something different
When you languish, everything starts to seem indistinguishable and you may find yourself feeling apathetic and numb. Being with the same people, relying only on Zoom calls to replace in-person interactions, and staying home alone 24/7 can cause your sense of self and interpersonal relationships to stagnate or come under pressure. The resultant state of socioemotional limbo — being emotionally tethered but physically alone — is a manifestation of languishing too.
Physical activity is linked to endorphin production and it’s a great chance to get a revitalising change in scenery. These forms of stimulation introduce variety and contribute to improved mood and motivation. Doing something different or trying to incorporate something new into your routine can help to break that monotony; everyone needs human interaction and a change in scenery once in a while.
You might even try picking up a new hobby: from embroidery to skipping rope, the pandemic has proven to be an unexpected opportunity for self-discovery for many.
3) Reframe your thoughts
While the most challenging, successfully accomplishing this will make the biggest difference to your mental state. Instead of ruminating over ‘what could have been’ or putting your life on hold in anticipation of ‘when this is all over’, ask yourself: What can I do now?
Some people appear super productive, taking courses and learning skills, but for others, the changes you adopt might be more slight. Personally, I’m working on improving my mental and physical health to boost my overall welfare over this period, and I’m slowly taking baby steps towards that goal. Take the days one at a time, but don’t forget to reach out for support if you need it. Think about what you can do despite living through a pandemic, and you might just surprise yourself.