Meet our CalmCon Speakers: Grace Yeoh

Here at Calm Collective, we’re all about authenticity and we firmly believe in the power of sharing personal stories. Leading up to CalmCon, we’ve interviewed several of our speakers so you get to know them a bit better. Today, we speak to Grace Yeoh, a Senior Journalist at an Asian news network. She shares more about where her interest in mental health stems from, some key lessons she’s learnt along the way, and what you can expect from her talk at CalmCon 2021. 

Tell us more about your background with mental health? i.e. where does the passion to write articles surrounding the topic come from?

I don't have professional mental health training, nor do I have a related educational background. My interest in mental health, however, stems from my interest in psychology and human nature. I've always been morbidly curious about people — why they do the things they do, why they make the choices they do. (Some people call that being a busybody. I don't disagree; minding my own business has always been a weakness.) I believe all behaviours are, at the end of the day, simply a manifestation of what begins in the mind. One thought may have the power to enact great change, but thoughts are never simple. They are shaped by one's personal history, character, life experiences, traumas, and needless to say, mental health. 

Having written so many articles and interviews on mental health - what are some key lessons you’ve learned? 

1. Mental health isn't a standalone topic, and thinking about it from that lens is myopic. The mental health conversation is not complete if we don't talk about the various aspects of life that affect mental health at the same time, such as education, jobs and career, housing, parenting, relationships, etc. Just like we cannot cut ourselves away from our brains, mental health isn't just part of life; it is how we live. If we don't start to think about mental health from a more enlightened perspective, the conversation will remain stuck at a superficial level. We will continue to believe that things like wellness workshops and going outdoors to breathe fresh air are the key to better mental health.

2. More awareness doesn't mean more acceptance. I personally believe the reason stigma around mental health still exists is because we conflate awareness and acceptance. We assume that just because people are more aware of mental health issues now means that they accept those who grapple with such issues. That’s far from the case. Awareness and acceptance are distinctly different; we should, therefore, tackle them differently.

3. My personal traumas and hardships have helped me to better empathise with others' struggles. I don't think I would be able to access the nuance and depth of an interviewee's experience if I didn't meet their humanity with mine.

What are some challenges you’ve faced tackling such a taboo subject? 

Haha - I believe we should, first of all, stop calling mental health a taboo subject. After a while, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is a human subject.

Not just with mental health-related stories, but the main challenge in any story I do is conveying the message that everything in life contains grey areas. The world is not black and white, which I've found is a truth that's very difficult for many people to accept (including myself at times). Humans love certainty so when we have difficulty accepting this, we make up stories to reconcile certain emotions that we think we shouldn't feel.

For example, in one story I did with men whose wives suffered a miscarriage or had a stillbirth, they expressed wishing misery and tragedy upon happy pregnant couples after their personal loss — and they felt so much shame for feeling that way. When I told some of them that it's perfectly normal to feel that way, I could see their shoulders drop, as if they'd been carrying around a physical burden with these suppressed feelings. But I had to tell them that having such feelings doesn't make them a bad person, just a human.

Getting to peek inside people's minds has taught me that people are inherently complex creatures, and there is no such thing as a neat narrative.

Having written on mental health for a few years, have you noticed a shift in mindsets or interest levels? 

There's definitely been more awareness around the topic of mental health and wellbeing thanks to the pandemic. At the same time, I fear that awareness may outweigh literacy, and the result of that is we stop at awareness. We don't convert that awareness to action because we put awareness on a pedestal as the goal. It's not the goal. It is the bare minimum.

Controversial opinion: On an extreme end of the spectrum, I've also noticed there is a tendency for... vulnerability porn on social media. Which, I believe, happens when people share their stories before they're truly ready. I can't quite pinpoint why certain online stories leave a bad taste in my mouth compared to others, but I think the difference is a lack of authenticity. Just because someone is open about what they've been through doesn't mean they are authentic. The only way to be the latter is, in my opinion, to fully process your story before sharing, rather than use sharing as a way to process your story. Because not everyone deserves access to the middle of your journey when you're still processing your story.

What can our audience look forward to during your talk/panel? 

While I will not be discussing the things I do on my job during the session, I will be talking about my personal therapy journey: the turning point that made me decide to see a therapist and commit to weekly sessions for two years, how therapy has fundamentally changed my life by changing the story I tell myself about myself, specific examples of how I react to certain situations now compared to pre-therapy, and what to expect in therapy for anyone who wishes to try.

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Hear more from Grace as she talks about “Therapy Deep Dive: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” at CalmCon, Calm Collective’s virtual mental health & well-being festival for Asia, taking place 12-13 November 2021. Make sure to head to calmcon.asia to get your tickets!