Causes and cures of loneliness in the workplace

Recently, my friend shared that she’s got a strictly professional relationship with her colleagues. By that, she means that they just work together, and she almost never lunches with or hangs out with them. 

I was surprised to hear that and asked how she felt, especially since she’s extroverted. While it’s not ideal and makes her feel uncomfortable, she shared that she’s grown used to focusing on getting her work done and not allowing the lack of social connection to affect her. 

That got me thinking about how people feel about their current work environments, and the type of emotional support they’re getting from their colleagues.

In an ideal world, all working adults will experience fulfilling careers and be well-supported by workmates whom they feel comfortable connecting with. In reality, not all of us have the privilege of enjoying this.

When we think about workplace relationships, I look back to my school days. Back then, it used to be easier to make friends. Friendships could blossom over something as simple as a shared interest in a particular subject, TV shows, books, sports activities, or really just being near each other. It was all about gaining new knowledge and hanging out with friends after school.
Then, we graduated from school and stepped into the workforce. Here, we realised that forming friendships was not as simple and straightforward. With statuses, salaries, promotions and expectations in the mix, the stakes are higher and we’ve all had to learn not just how to perform our jobs well but to navigate office politics.

At times, it almost feels like we should be content enough if we had a job. Beyond that, work friendships are considered a bonus. 

However, research has shown that the well-being of employees goes beyond their financial needs. When their emotional needs aren’t taken care of, it can result in reduced productivity, turnover and burnout (1).

The causes of loneliness could vary from person to person. Here, I share a few common ones.

Causes

1. Lack of belonging

Deep down, we all want to feel like we belong, whether it’s in a social or work setting. We want to feel that people get us and know what makes us tick, beyond the professional contributions we bring to the table. When we feel that nobody truly knows us or aren’t confident enough that anybody will support us in our time of need, we can end up feeling disconnected and lonely.

2. Workplace culture

Sometimes, it could also be due to the company and team culture. In some workplaces, it’s all about hustling and getting things done, with no concern or attention placed on creating a socially conducive environment where colleagues can get to know each other.

Employees working in companies with a lack of inclusive workplace policies and diversity practices can also feel lonely and excluded.

3. Remote working challenges

With working from home becoming the norm for most companies during the pandemic, this has brought about more convenience (less telecommuting) but resulted in more loneliness for employees. With no clear boundaries drawn between their work and personal lives, some employees end up being overworked. This has significant physical and mental health implications such as overworking and isolation which can result in increased stress, which in turn could fuel physical problems such as musculoskeletal and metabolic issues, as well as mental health problems such as loneliness and depression (2).

It’s the little thoughtful gestures that count when we want to create a friendlier work environment where employees feel supported. Here is a non-comprehensive list of cures:

Cures

1. Make employees feel special by celebrating them

Appreciate employees by recognising their achievements, celebrating their birthdays and even giving a shout-out when they’ve reached certain milestones like their yearly work anniversary. This will help to boost their morale and make them feel more engaged in the workplace.

2. How are you? 

Whether you’re a manager or employee, we can play our part by checking in with our colleagues. A simple “How are you?” and expressing genuine interest in their lives could pave the way for more meaningful conversations.

3. Organise social gatherings

Starting with small social gatherings could also be a way to get to know your co-workers better in a relaxed setting. During these gatherings, make it a point for everyone not to discuss work topics and really just take this as an opportunity to get to know everyone on a personal level better.

While there are different factors like proximity, chemistry and life stages which influence how friendships are formed and sustained, sometimes all it takes is for that one person to reach out. Whether as managers or employees, we can all play a part in breaking the spell of loneliness in the workplace. 
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References

(1) https://hbr.org/2021/06/employees-are-lonelier-than-ever-heres-how-employers-can-help 

(2) https://www.channelnewsasia.com/commentary/coronavirus-covid-19-remote-work-from-home-burnout-stress-tips-765771 

(3) https://www.hcamag.com/asia/specialisation/corporate-wellness/how-to-beat-loneliness-and-isolation-at-work/316477 

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