Getting through Father’s Day when you don’t have a great relationship with your father

It’s that time of the year again – Father’s Day. As you scroll through social media and see friends celebrating their fathers with heartfelt cards and gifts, you may feel uneasy, and bad memories may resurface. 

Perhaps you and your father never got along, or maybe he wasn’t very present in your life. It can be tough when this hard-to-ignore day serves as a reminder of the broken relationship you have with your father. After all, not all of us are lucky enough to have superhero fathers.

Here are some tips to help you get through this challenging day.

  1. Stay away from social media 

    If you’re aware that seeing certain posts could potentially affect you, the best thing you can do is to avoid social media completely. Choosing to actively stay away from such content also gives you a sense of agency. 

  2. Make plans with your support system

    You know what makes you feel good. Whether it’s catching up with a friend for coffee or an exercise class, make that plan in advance as Father’s Day draws nearer. This ensures you won’t be alone on this day, and that you’ll have something to keep your mind focused on.

  3. Celebrate other positive role models

    Father’s Day can also be an opportunity to show appreciation to other influential figures in your life, like an uncle, mentor, or teacher. Consider the positive influences that you’ve had throughout the years and take this chance to express your gratitude to them.

  4. Acknowledge your feelings

    Your feelings are valid. Recognise and accept the mixed emotions you have surrounding your complex relationship with your father. You can consider writing in a journal to reflect on your feelings about your father or speak with a trusted person to fully process your emotions.


Remember, it’s completely alright not to celebrate Father’s Day traditionally, and there are no set rules. Always prioritise your well-being while allowing yourself to feel your emotions. Stay kind to yourself, and do the things that bring you joy.


More resources:

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/17/well/fathers-day-grief-coping.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psychoanalysis-unplugged/202206/surviving-fathers-day-when-dear-old-dad-is-not-so-dear

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