Shining Through the Shadows: Celebrity Journeys of Mental Health Thriving

Mental Health Musings
Written By Komal Gupta

[Content Warning: This article discusses self-harm, suicidal thoughts, cyberbullying, body image]

At some point, many of us face the quiet inner battles of a mental health struggle. For some, it’s a daily fight – often draining, yet these are the battles we need to fight for growth and healing. In this article, we dive into the stories of five celebrities who have bravely shared their struggles with mental health, shedding light on the steps they’ve taken towards recovery. Their resilience is an essential reminder for all — You are not alone. I hope these stories encourage you to keep going strong and that every small step is a stride towards your mental health journey. 

Kang Daniel Unfiltered: Confronting Fame’s Demons and the Path to Healing

K-pop idol Kang Daniel took a three-month hiatus back in November 2019 to focus on his mental health as he battled with depression, anxiety, and panic disorder, as cyberbullying raged and his every move was scrutinised. 

The singer laid bare the depths of his frustration in a fan cafe post (Honeycider, 2019): 

“How they edit everything that I do to make it look bad

How the music and performances that I love are being treated like trash

How the fans that I treasured are being ridiculed

How my family is getting cursed out instead of me

How it’s suddenly become a crime to say that they like me

Just everything is really too difficult.

The fact that I am me is too difficult.”

Daniel shared his initial resolve to stay silent through a letter to his fandom as the weight of public perception bore down on him (Glasby, 2021). 

“At that time, I was like, ‘I’m not going to do this any more’. Because even if I said something small that didn’t mean anything, it would become something huge (online). And then people would be like, ‘That’s who Kang Daniel is’. So I felt like I shouldn’t do anything at all. I shouldn’t speak or move. But what really touched me was that everyone from my company visited me at least once. I realised that I wasn’t looking at the people closest to me. Although you live life alone, really, people are all connected. They affect you in positive ways.”

Later in January 2020, Daniel wrote a heartfelt letter to his fans (Germaine-Jay, 2020): 

“That frozen winter of mine seems to have an end, and that end must be the start of spring. The warm stories you've sent me have brought spring to me, and I'm trying to pick myself back up and greet the coming spring.” 

In an interview with Dazed, Daniel spoke of his evolution: 

“I don’t think I’ve changed, but I feel like there has been a change. I still read bad comments but, because I was able to overcome them once, I can just deal with it now. There’s a certain way to do that, and I trust myself and the people around me to help. There are good days and bad days but there’s always a reason to live. There’s good things about life and that's what I look for.”

His 2021 EP, “Yellow”, an artistic outpouring of inner turmoil, captures “what it felt like to explode”. He gets raw and vulnerable with his mental health struggles, letting his art become a means of catharsis. 

He is far from alone in this battle. Celebrities like Jay B, Tablo, DPR Ian, Joshua, Keshi, Woosung, B.I., DK, and Catriona Gray have also used platforms like Dive Studios’s Mindset to speak about their struggles, fame, and the pressure of society, creating a safe space to dismantle the taboos surrounding mental health. 

From Olympic Glory to Inner Struggles: Amanda Beard on Body Image and her journey towards Healing and Empowerment

During her time in the spotlight, Amanda Beard— seven-time Olympic swimming medalist— wrestled with her inner demons outside the pool. Her memoir, “In the Water They Can't See You Cry”, reveals her struggles with body image, clinical depression, self-harm, substance abuse, and an eating disorder, all while maintaining the image of a world-class athlete.

The pressure to constantly wear swimsuits amplified her stress to look a certain way. She confessed during an interview with Marie Claire:

“I had to live up to the expectations of this swimsuit-model girl. It's just so unrealistic. I tried every different way that I could to achieve that body. Even if the purging had hurt my swimming, I wouldn't have stopped. I wanted to be a great swimmer, but more than that, I wanted to be pretty, skinny, and perfect.”

Amanda grappled with feeling unworthy of the role model status the world had thrust upon her. “I always felt like I didn’t want to be a role model,” she told the New York Times. 

“If people knew the real me or the things I was doing or going through, there’s no way they’d want their kid to be like me.” 

Talking about self-harm, she revealed that it made her feel calm:

“Even though I was in a swimsuit all the time, no one saw because I found ways to make the cuts so teeny-tiny small, you could hardly see them. I want people to know that you don't always notice warning signs. Cutters are really good at hiding things.”

The turning point in her life came when she confided in her husband, who helped her seek therapy. Through this journey, Bread learned to value herself beyond the expectations. After her retirement and the birth of her daughter, she pivoted towards nurturing the next generation of swimmers. In 2017, she co-founded Beard Swim Co, a swim school, where she continues to teach kids.

Cara Delevingne: Navigating sexuality and battling substance use

At just fifteen years old, Cara Delevingne was fighting several mental health issues. In a 2015 interview with Vogue, the supermodel and actress opened up about her painful struggles with mental health: 

“All of a sudden I was hit with a massive wave of depression and anxiety and self-hatred, where the feelings were so painful that I would slam my head against a tree to try to knock myself out. I never cut, but I’d scratch myself to the point of bleeding. I just wanted to dematerialize and have someone sweep me away.”

Dropping out of school, she signed with Storm Management and started modelling. “I smoked a lot of pot as a teenager, but I was completely mental with or without drugs," she admitted (Haskell, 2015). She later turned to acting in 2012. Her battle was far from over. 

At her lowest point, Delevingne contemplated suicide: “I was packing my bags, and suddenly I just wanted to end it. I had a way, and it was right there in front of me. And I was like, I need to decide whether I love myself as much as I love the idea of death”. This admission underscores the depth of the emotional turmoil she endured. 

Growing up in an ‘old fashioned household’ added to Cara feeling confused about her sexuality:

“I always will remain, I think, pansexual...I didn’t want to upset my family. I was deeply unhappy and depressed. When you don’t accept a part of yourself or love yourself, it’s like you’re not there, almost,” she shared with People in 2020 (Boucher, 2020) 

The struggle to reconcile with her sexuality took a toll on her mental health, and she correlated her depression and the suicidal moments of her life to it because she was ashamed of her sexuality. “But actually, that was the part of me that I love so much and accept”, she added, during an interview with People. 

Diagnosed with dyspraxia and battling insomnia from the age of ten, Cara’s mental health challenges started early. She also sought solace in substance and alcohol use, as a means of escape, marking the start of her mental health issues. She recalls trying out various forms of therapy, from art to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. By her teenage years, it all came crashing down when she started drinking and partying. Cara tells Vogue, “There was this need to escape and change my reality as I was hit with just huge questions: What am I doing here? Who am I trying to be?” (Nnadi, 2023). 

During the pandemic, when her relationship with her then-girlfriend ended, she felt utterly alone. 

“I just had a complete existential crisis. All my sense of belonging, all my validation—my identity, everything—was so wrapped up in work. And when that was gone, I felt like I had no purpose. I just wasn’t worth anything without work, and that was scary,” 

The loss of her grandmother, who offered her a safe space, during her filming for Planet Sex, left her mind in turmoil. By 2022, Cara made a life-altering decision to check herself into rehab, realising her lifestyle was no longer sustainable as she neared her 30s. She revealed to Vogue in 2023:

“This time I realised that 12-step treatment was the best thing, and it was about not being ashamed of that. The community made a huge difference. The opposite of addiction is connection, and I really found that in 12-step.”

Now, she seems to be embracing her recovery. On September 10, 2024, L’Oreal Paris announced Cara as the newest Global Ambassador.

Tosh Zhang: On childhood trauma and recovery

In 2021, Singaporean actor and musician Tosh Zhang appeared in a talk show Hear U Out, where he opened up about his battle with depression since 2016. He struggled with thoughts of suicide and was even hospitalized for what doctors feared was an impending stroke. 

He traced his depression back to childhood trauma, a haunting narrative many know too well but few dare to vocalise.

“I never got to acknowledge what happened in the past. When I was younger, I saw and felt some things that children shouldn’t have to experience. The situation in my family wasn’t good at that time and my parents fought very badly and often.” 

“I’d go home feeling afraid every single day. I have a younger sister and she would cry [whenever something happened], so I felt that I had to maintain a strong front. If I didn’t, I felt that my sister and mum would cry. My dad was in a bad place, so I felt that the family would collapse if I didn’t stay strong.” 

In 2016, his suppressed memories resurfaced, and seeing certain things would trigger his memories of the past leaving him weeping without end. “I even thought of jumping off a building,” he revealed, his words raw and haunting. “I can’t suppress [the negative thoughts] and they still haunt me now. I’m in a better place now but I feel that it’s very difficult to make a full recovery” (Lin, 2021).

His road to healing began when a psychologist asked him to confront his ‘inner child’ (Peng, 2021):

“If I continued to ignore him, not console him and tell him that everything is now okay, he would keep crying.” 

He continued receiving treatment for about a year and had been in and out of hospital a few times. 

He recalled: “I've had meltdowns at home where I wanted to commit suicide. I couldn’t feel my face and my hands were numb. When I called my doctor, he said that I could be hyperventilating and was at risk of getting a stroke, so he told me to call an ambulance”. It was then that his mother found out about his depression. 

Fast Forward to 2024, he seems to be in a much better place. He shared via an Instagram post that he has realised the importance of self-care, prioritising his well-being, and letting go of the past. He added: 

“Although it was a stormy journey, I never gave up on that little glimmer of hope and took it one step at a time. I have since found joy in the simplest of moments”.

Benjamin Kheng's Candid Reflections on Mental Health Struggles

In a raw conversation with Calm Collective, Singaporean singer-songwriter Benjamin Kheng opened up about his struggles with mental health: 

“A few years ago, I recognized the patterns of a mood disorder creeping up on me, and like every stubborn man, I decided against asking for help and tried to stubbornly self-diagnose.” 

Growing up in a devoutly religious environment, Kheng felt the pressure to seek constant approval from others and avoid any form of conflict. 

“It drove me crazy when someone would irrationally dislike me, or if I couldn’t pick out a sensible rational way.” 

In the past, Kheng has battled with anxiety disorder and overcame it through a unique experience called synesthesia. The American Psychological Association reports that some synesthetes experience sounds, smells, tastes, or pain sensations as colours. Others associate shapes with specific tastes, while some see colours when viewing digits, letters, and words. Benjamin shares that he had colour hearing synesthesia. His mind associated each note with a colour and gender, and chords with emotions. 

He is now playing a key role in normalising conversations about mental health through his platforms as an artist, creating a space for dialogue. 

Everyone’s mental health journey is unique. Facing the highs and lows can be scary but through these stories of struggle and healing, I want you to know that you are not alone.

References:

Komal Gupta
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