How to talk about mental health at work without just virtue signalling
“If it’s okay to call in sick, it should be okay to call in sad too.”
Why is it culturally acceptable for us to take sick leave when we are dealing with a physical illness and not a mental one? That’s because mental health is still not fully understood and rarely discussed openly in the workplace and we need to normalise such conversations ASAP. When I was on the verge of a breakdown in a previous role and would take sick leave when I saw my psychiatrist and he gave me an MC, my boss texted me, “Are you really sick or do you just not want to come to work?” Even though mental health conversations are starting to become more common in society in general, the very thought of bringing up this topic with our employers can be absolutely terrifying.
This Harvard Business Review article highlights staggering statistics about mental health and the workplace: “Up to 80% of people will experience a diagnosable mental health condition over the course of their lifetime, whether they know it or not. But almost 60% of employees have never spoken to anyone at work about their mental health”. The article also provides a few useful recommendations for people considering disclosing a mental health challenge at work.
But this goes beyond individuals gathering the courage to disclose their mental health issues to their employers. As a society, we need to do better. We need to normalise mental health conversations not just among family, friends, loved ones, but in the workplace as well. Because mental illness is invisible, it is difficult to tell when a person is breaking on the inside until the person actually reaches breaking point. When we try to explain that we are on the verge of a breakdown but it can’t be seen physically, there’s often so much judging and shaming. Just look at the tone-deaf and downright cruel reactions to US star gymnast Simone Biles’ withdrawal from the vault (and other subsequent events) at the Tokyo Olympic Games after receiving her lowest tournament score. Celebrity Piers Morgan called her selfish and commented “Sorry Simone Biles, but there’s nothing heroic or brave about quitting because you’re not having ‘fun’ – you let down your team-mates, your fans and your country”. Armchair critics said that she was “making excuses for her poor performance” and “disingenuously playing the mental health card”.
And it is this same culture that is forcing employees to stay silent in the workplace about their mental health. Because of the fear that feeling emotionally unstable isn’t considered as legitimate as a fever or a flu. “How do I justify this to my boss?” “Will my colleagues think I’m faking it?” Mental health IS health. Just because it can’t be seen, heard or felt like a physical sickness does not mean that it is any less of one. And the effects on job performance are undeniable. Poor mental health and stress negatively affect productivity, communication and collaboration with teammates.
I live with Bipolar II Disorder or Manic Depression, which causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, concentration, and activity levels, affecting one’s ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. This affects my work. When I’m in a hypomanic state, my brain is in overdrive; I sleep 3-4 hours a day and am extremely productive and creative. I have a whole lot of energy that I didn’t before and can complete task after task after task, knocking them out of the park, while coming up with creative new ideas and strategies. It’s sort of a superpower if you know how to harness it well, and many people who live with Bipolar enjoy the manic state simply because of how much gets done and how good you feel about yourself. You may achieve brilliance or even genius if you have clarity of thought. But after living life in a somewhat superhuman capacity, the insomnia and hyperactivity vanish, and the depression sets in. Gone is your energy, will and motivation to do literally anything. Getting out of bed in the morning becomes an almost impossible task in itself. Let alone work. Sometimes people with Bipolar have the tendency to quit their work on impulse especially when going through a severe depressive episode when 1) they feel that their work is shit and 2) they feel that they are shit at their work. It could be work that they thoroughly enjoy on a normal basis and the reason they get out of bed every morning. But when the crippling effects of depression take over, nothing can be seen or felt beyond complete darkness and hopelessness.
The day before my one year appraisal at my current work, I had a video call with Sabrina, a friend and the co-founder of Calm Collective, and she shared her experience of opening up to her boss about her condition and gently encouraged me to do the same. She told me that 12 months was enough for me to have proven my value to the company and to have established trust with my boss and that it was a good time to talk about it. I took it to prayer and reflection that night and decided to take the plunge. Before meeting my boss, I dropped her a text (probably at some ungodly hour because I was in hypomania at the time), to say that I was going to be vulnerable and share something very personal (to force myself not to back out). Throughout my commute to meet her, I was overwhelmed by nerves and anxiety. “What if she thinks I’m crazy?” “What if she doubts my ability to perform at my job?” - these were questions that kept running through my mind in a loop.
Eventually I bit the bullet and told her about my Bipolar II. And what happened next shocked me. She reacted with nothing but kindness and grace. I asked if she was surprised or how she felt about it, and she said “I don’t believe in labelling people” and “I’m sure a lot of people go undiagnosed with all sorts of conditions”. She said that it’s great when I’m much more productive at work but that I need to try to get enough sleep, and when I’m in depression, I could take leave for a whole week to rest and reset. I felt seen and heard in a job for the first time in a long while. And it was so liberating. The burden of having to hide my condition was lifted and I felt so much lighter. Now she checks in with me from time to time about my mental state and tries to prioritise my workload so that I know what’s most urgent and important to get done first. This speaks volumes of the person she is and the kind of culture she wants to set for our workplace.
Every workplace is different and context is important. I acknowledge that my current boss’s reaction could be a little bit of an anomaly especially in the Asian context where there is a greater stigma attached to mental health, and I’m speaking from a certain position of privilege because my work environment is so supportive and understanding. This is such a stark contrast to other workplaces I’ve been in. When my previous boss sent me that text questioning the legitimacy of my sick leave, it confirmed my suspicion - that place wasn’t safe for my mental wellbeing.
The term “psychological safety” is defined as a “shared belief held by members of a team that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking” and “a sense of confidence that the team will not embarrass, reject or punish someone for speaking up.” It refers to a team culture established on mutual trust and respect, where team members are unafraid to be vulnerable. It is in a psychologically safe workplace that employees feel empowered and unafraid to have difficult conversations about their mental health. In a re:Work study on what makes an effective team at Google, psychological safety was identified as the top team dynamic that mattered among the most effective Google teams. There is strong research in favour of building a psychologically safe workplace as it is linked to higher job performance, productivity, greater collaboration and better job satisfaction. This requires a fundamental change in culture. And it goes beyond just casually mentioning it at work or organising a one-off webinar / exercise workshop for employees to seem “woke”.
So for all employers out there, if you are genuinely thinking of building a psychologically safe workplace which encourages mental health conversations and promotes greater awareness and vulnerability among employees, you are on the right track. Employees are your greatest asset. Investing in employees’ mental health means investing in your company’s financial health. Here are some steps that employers can take:
#1 Strong signalling from the top - leadership could have open conversations with their employees about their own mental health and how they cope on a day to day basis. This helps to break the stigma in the workplace as leaders are both the priority and culture setters of their company. When leaders show that they are vulnerable, it creates a culture of trust and employees feel more empowered to be vulnerable as well. Leaders could also consider having regular check-ins with their employees so they feel validated and that their emotional needs are being met.
#2 Training and education - workshops that explain what mental health means, certain signs and symptoms to look out for and stress management techniques like mindfulness, meditation and breathing exercises, as well as mental health self-assessment tools could be made available to all employees. Greater awareness would make such conversations come more naturally.
#3 Providing mental health benefits - support and treatment for mental health such as mental health days, free or subsidised clinical screenings for depression from a qualified mental health professional, therapy or counselling sessions and health insurance with no or low out-of-pocket costs for depression medications could be provided to all employees as part of their overall health benefits package.
Creating a safe culture for mental health conversations starts from the top, but every employee has a part to play to reinforce it as well. It is also equally important that employees are truthful and authentic with their struggles and don’t abuse the culture of trust. To quote this Harvard Business Review article, “Culture change of any kind requires top-down and bottom-up support. Mental health is no different.” Let’s start encouraging open conversations about mental health in the workplace and building a culture of safety, acceptance and empathy.