Tiny Moments of Joy: Glimmers and Where To Find Them
Weddings and anniversaries, birthday celebrations, job promotions. These are just some of the big, happy moments we encounter in life. But look closer. A gift from a friend, a great workout session, your pet eagerly waiting for you to come home. Yes, these are great too, but look even closer! What about those times when the sun's rays just hit right during the golden hour? Or the smell of freshly cut grass? A warm shower at the end of a long day? These tiny moments of joy— “glimmers” as they’re called—are peppered all around our day, waiting to be discovered.
Why are glimmers important for our mental health?
According to Perpetua Neo on MindBodyGreen, we’re often always noticing and analysing the bad stuff that happens, and these tend to constantly trigger our nervous systems. Seeking out glimmers therefore makes us feel safer and calmer.
The idea was first coined by social worker Deb Dana in her 2018 book, The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy. According to Dana, glimmers accumulate when we seek them out, and this allows us to find even more glimmers, which then helps us with emotional regulation.
Liz Kelly, a psychotherapist, has also noted that we tend to default to an all-or-nothing type of thinking where we let a single event or two define our day as “good” or “bad”. Realistically speaking though, our days have their ups and downs, and the idea of glimmers is supposed to lift your spirits when you feel down. That’s why glimmers are often thought of as the opposite of triggers—Victoria Maxwell has described them as “shining stars that can pierce through the darkness” on Psychology Today. While it’s certainly far from a cure-all, it can challenge our negativity biases and make us feel more grounded and positive.
How do we seek out glimmers?
It is important to be present and mindful of what brings happiness to you, and to understand that what a glimmer is for one person might not be for another. For instance, my glimmers would be coming home to the smell of my mother’s cooking and seeing a rainbow, among others. Yours might look different, and that’s totally fine!
It can also be helpful to look beyond what simply makes us happy, and to realise when we experience or feel awe, excitement, hopeful, and connected—these are all positive emotions that can be associated with glimmers as well.
As with any mental health exercise (or any exercise in general), practice is key. Shannon Barbour of WonderMind also suggests keeping a journal, or texting your friends about any glimmers you find.
Examples of glimmers
Here’s a list of some glimmers which might resonate with you—again, if they don’t, that’s completely fine! Hopefully, though, this will be a great resource for you to build on or reference.
Listening to birdsong
Witnessing someone else being nice to another person
Petting animals
Spending time in nature
Smelling flowers