What Is It Like to Call/Text a Helpline?
Texting a helpline can be nerve-wracking, and calling can feel even worse. Hearing the ringing reverberate as you wait for the receiver to pick up; feeling like you shouldn't be talking about your problems to someone you don't even know; shaking and breaking into a cold sweat as you struggle to find the right words to say.
That's how I felt when I first called Samaritans of Singapore (SOS).
I've always kept my guard up when it comes to sharing something personal, feeling like I shouldn't be exposing too much about myself. When I called the hotline, I was worried that they might recognise me from my voice and find my vulnerability too overwhelming.
But SOS has always assured me that everything was confidential, and I could even stay anonymous. They created a safe space and made sure I was okay to continue sharing. Before hanging up or discontinuing the session via text, they would encourage me to call back whenever I needed to and assured me that I wasn't bothering them at all. They were there to extend a helping hand no matter who you are, without prejudice.
Approaching a helpline can be something you've always thought to be difficult, but once you take that first step, it becomes a lot easier to talk it out.
Other than SOS, I have also reached out to Oogachaga, an LGBTQ+ organisation that provides support for individuals and families. I wanted to understand my sexual orientation and identity, and talk about the discrimination that I have experienced since coming out as a lesbian. My only exchange with them happened over text when 377A wasn't repealed yet, and so I was genuinely afraid to tell people about my sexual orientation.
However, they acknowledged my difficulties and pains, and they reassured me that there was nothing wrong with liking someone of the same gender. It helped me realise that I needed to overcome the fears I had, and was the best decision I've made. I learned not to deny who I am.
Being a victim of sexual assault from my ex-partner and dealing with sexual harassment from male acquaintances and friends were things I couldn't come to terms with. I became afraid of sitting near a male figure on public transport and would feel bile rise up in my throat, paranoid that someone would touch me without consent again. I spent a long time in a state of self-hatred and self-doubt, as these traumatic experiences repeated themselves in my mind again and again.
One of the hardest decisions I’ve made was to email AWARE, a group that specialises in advocating women's rights and gender equality, alongside supporting victims of sexual assault. When they called back the next day, I had to mentally prepare myself to speak to them. But even though it caused me severe emotional distress, I was extremely relieved when they immediately understood that it was something I couldn't easily get over. They listened to me, let me process everything at my own pace, and never made me question if it was my fault. Surviving the ordeal and letting it haunt me for months was something excruciating, but speaking to AWARE allowed me to move on.
Every experience I had with a helpline has truly shaped the person I am today. They have helped me learn and continue to grow despite the ups and downs that life threw at me. I'm extremely proud of myself for surviving and allowing myself to look forward to better days. To this day, I will always remember how these people helped me and endeavour to do the same for others who need it.
If you need any support, please reach out to the following:
Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1-767 (24-hour hotline) & Whatsapp services @ 91511767
Oogachaga: Whatsapp Counselling @ 85920609 (Operating only on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays - 7pm to 10pm and Saturdays - 2pm to 5pm) or email counselling which is available daily. CARE@oogachaga.com
Association of Women for Action & Research (AWARE): Request for a chat or call-back @ 1800 777 5555, Sexual Assault Care Centre: 67790282 or email them. aware@aware.org.sg