Dealing with job rejections
I sent over 50 applications during the summer of 2021, and it was all to no avail.
I remember the small burst of hope within me, as I picked up calls or heard the pinging of email notifications from my phone. They were invitations from the handful of companies that I applied to. I spent nights preparing for the various interviews that I had lined up and for some, I was able to pass until the final interview. I was optimistic. Honestly, I was looking forward to positive news. Alas, I was dumbfounded when the “We regret to inform you” email came.
Brushing aside my dismay, I continued to scroll through LinkedIn to be updated on job postings, but I was barraged with notifications that only deepened my insecurity.
“Congratulate XX for starting a new position at [Reputable Company]!”
Naturally, I was happy for them to be embarking on a new journey, but I couldn’t help but feel a biting sense of envy. Social media was no better. I was swiping right on stories of friends who were either sharing their internship journey or sharing their joy of bagging one. I caught myself questioning my self-worth, “Why? Why can’t I be like them?”.
As someone who is about to graduate soon, and have yet to bag an internship, I was frustrated, anxious, stressed and disheartened. Adulting is scary, and sometimes you feel really alone. So here are some tips that I have learnt, and hopefully, my story will help to give you a sense of assurance that you are not alone.
# Tip 1: Find an outlet to express your negative emotions
Confide in your friends to get some much-needed encouragement. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Chances are, they can understand how you feel, as they have experienced something similar.
Recently, a friend mentioned to me how I reminded her of herself when she was younger. She told me that she went through the same thing during her years in university, and assured me that my grit would take me far. Her “You can one” gave me the confidence I needed to hear.
Alternatively, you can jot down your emotions. The crucial thing to remember is to not let the blues overtake you. Don’t let it cloud your thoughts.
# Tip 2: Don’t take it to heart
“Unfortunately, after a lengthy discussion within the team, we have decided not to proceed with your application.”
I used to stare at this message and stress the hypotheticals on the reasons why I was not accepted. I took the rejection personally and it really affected my confidence and self-worth.
However, I soon realized that the rejections were not the end of the world, and these rejections were areas that I could improve on. Not to mention, not everyone is able to see your worth based on just a 20 minutes interview.
Instead of focusing on the pain, use this experience as a motivation to score the next interview. What helps, I think, is to follow up with the hiring manager / HR representative to politely ask for some feedback, so that you know how to be a stronger candidate. I have also started to join more workshops and career talks, something that the old me would nonchalantly dismiss. It was after going through the interviews and getting to know the people working in the industry and understanding the work that they do, that made me discover more career prospects that I can envision myself wanting to work in. I was more motivated and excited to explore what the “universe” had to offer.
So put yourself out there and learn as much as you can.
Last but certainly not the least,
# Tip 3: Don’t compare your journey with other people
Some might have already found their way, or know what they want to do in life.
Well for me, I didn't. That used to scare me. However, after gaining more practical knowledge through workshops and networking sessions, I now have a better sense of direction, albeit unclear. But that’s fine, as life is not linear. Set down personal goals and focus on working towards them.
It might seem like life is linear, especially when you see other people’s Linkedin experience charts.
But as mentioned by Rachel Ellner, “Growth, success, achievement, and progress itself, is not a straight line [...] but rather necessitates a step or two backwards, a couple of steps sideways, some zigzagging, and circular motions in order to ultimately move forward.”
The differences you feel now with others are not that far apart. Just continue forging ahead.
If you need more useful tips on how to stop comparing yourself with others, please read Jillian Ng’s article!
While we have been conditioned to feel that rejection equals failure, let’s pause and think. Did we really fail?
Personally, if I had not experienced rejection, I probably would not have gained an opportunity to reflect upon myself. This “failure” gave me time to better understand what I was interested in learning and allowed me to build relationships and connect with several professionals. Looking back, I feel that I was redirected and have grown.
So, I encourage you to not fear rejection. Instead, embrace it.
Remember, you are powerful, and your opportunity will come. Go get it!