How to develop your own personal affirmations
What is a personal affirmation?
Affirmations can be good or bad, but both are powerful. Unfortunately, most of us are more familiar with negative affirmations, such as ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’ll never get it right’. Naturally, we want to develop positive affirmations, which have been proven to boost our productivity levels, morale, and general outlook.
In fact, some of us may already be practising positive affirmations, although unknowingly. Have you ever walked up to an interview room and told yourself, “I can do it”? Or have you taken a deep breath before speaking on stage, mustering all the courage you needed to exude an aura of confidence? Just like how negative affirmations have the power to lower us into the deepest trenches of despair, positive affirmations have the strength to lift us up to achieve the mightiest of goals.
There are many types of positive affirmations that you can develop for yourself, but which ones you choose depend on what you’re aiming to achieve. You could be looking for greater success at work, or better grades in school. Perhaps you’re longing for happiness or you seek to raise your self-esteem. Although there is an unending list of reasons you might have, the positive affirmations you develop will all have some things in common.
Some guidelines you can go by while developing your own affirmations
If someone asked you to name a positive trait about yourself, you’d most likely be stumped. We are often our own harshest critic and tend to focus on the negative aspects of ourselves. So, let’s start there.
Take a pen and paper and jot down every negative thought you’ve ever had about yourself. This exercise may seem counter-productive, but it will be essential for you to subsequently identify which types of affirmations you need and where they would apply. Be aware of which part of your body hurts or is in discomfort as you write these discouraging statements down as well (this can be your temple, your heart, the middle of your ribcage etcetera). Emotional turmoil can often translate into physical pain. Writing these negative affirmations will cause them to slowly detach from your beliefs and turn into external thoughts. You will also be able to target your emotional pain points better in the following step.
The immediate next step is to turn these negative affirmations 180 degrees. If you wrote ‘I am not worthy of a raise’, try not to just write ‘I am worthy of a raise’, but instead choose a stronger, more specific statement that you can start to believe in, such as ‘I am doing well at work and I have the confidence to ask my boss for a raise’. A precise and clear goal will be accompanied by a more feasible path to fulfilling it. Think about how you’re going to target these negative affirmations and challenge what caused them to be so deeply rooted in your mind. While you’re turning your negative affirmations into positive ones, gently massage the area that hurt when you were writing your negative statements. This will be an emotional as well as physical message to your body that you are replacing your negative thoughts with positive ones, and are patching up anything that may have hurt before.
Within the positive affirmations that we can construct, there are the genuine and useful ones which are easy to follow through, and there are also those that may seem like empty praises. This is why there are some guidelines to follow when we develop our ideal affirmations.
Be realistic, and choose an affirmation you believe is possible, or it may backfire. Any achievable goal is a rational one, and you will want to track every small achievement you’ve made. Think about what you will do in the next few days or weeks rather than the next ten years. Small steps will certainly get you to your goal with due diligence.
If your affirmation is goal-oriented, you can detail which steps you will take to achieve your goals. Trying to save enough money for a vacation? "I am disciplined and will save money on my commute daily by taking the bus instead of Grab.” Building the road ahead will be much easier if you lay a tile each day– even a $2 saving per day will amount to $14 a week, then $56 a month, and $672 a year. It is also important that you focus on what you can control. You may not hold the reins of the global economy, but you do have some say in how well you manage your personal finances.
Stay away from the words ‘don’t’, ‘won’t’, ‘am not’ and others that imply the discarding of bad practices. Choose to focus on what you are doing instead of what you won’t do. Avoid “I won’t smoke anymore,” and replace it with “I am enjoying the fresh air in my lungs and the positive impact I am making on my family.” Not only will this put the benefits of achieving this goal in perspective, but it will also remind you of the progress you’re making every day.
Last but not least, there’s the importance of repetition. Some choose to repeat their affirmations three times a day, while others do it once. There is no right answer to how many times you want to recite your affirmations, but one thing’s for sure: you need to say it like you believe it. Affirmations are more effective when they carry emotional weight, which is why every positive affirmation needs to be stated with conviction and determination. Just like how our bodies can be trained to be strong and fit with exercise, our minds and hearts can be trained to overcome any obstacle and instance of self-doubt if we trust and believe in our affirmations enough.
Other conditions you might need for your affirmations to be effective
Writing good affirmations and delivering them well will still be insufficient if they are not tailored to your personal needs. It is extremely normal to have the urge to give up completely when you feel that your affirmations are not showing results, or are even making you feel worse (in which case, you could modify them).
Some may prefer trusted individuals to read their affirmations back to them. Some may need more time to practice turning pessimistic thoughts into optimistic ones. Some may write affirmation journals to keep track of their self-discovery journey.
Ultimately, your affirmations must be genuinely, deliberately, and carefully written. If they are not giving you the results you want, think about the culprit doubts and worries that are holding you back. Think about how you can work around the obstacles and setbacks that you cannot control. Then, tweak your affirmations to address those pain points. After all, positive affirmations are dynamic - they change according to what you need in the present. So, find out what you need, and believe in yourself.
If you didn’t think things could change, you wouldn’t be reading this article.
But you are.
And they can.