Is mercury in retrograde? Or are you spiritually bypassing?

Introduction

Planets in the solar system perpetually orbit the Sun in the same planetary motion. At specific times in a year, however, Mercury appears to go backwards in its orbit, contradicting its original motion. This astrological phenomenon dubbed the “Mercury retrograde” describes the optical illusion caused by the Earth being briefly overtaken by Mercury in its orbit around the Sun, illustrating a typical scenario where sometimes what we perceive may not reflect reality.

In our lives, how we perceive our realities may draw similarities with “Mercury retrograde”. With the ubiquity of spirituality in society and its apparent benefits to our mental health and well-being, we may turn blind to the downsides of over-relying on spirituality to cope psychologically. The term spiritual bypassing (Welwood, 1984) was coined to describe the humanistic tendency to neglect internal psychological conflicts using spiritual practices and beliefs, presenting an interesting conundrum as we emphasize the positive aspects of life and neglect the negatives – is mercury in retrograde, suggesting that our lives are as positive as we perceive them to be, or are we spiritually bypassing? In this article, we explore the phenomenology of spiritual bypassing – what spiritual bypassing looks like its consequences on mental health, and strategies to avoid it.

Spiritual Bypassing: Background and Consequences

The term spiritual bypassing was first used by John Welwood (1984), who defined it as a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks”. Welwood and other contemporary researchers concur that relying on spiritual bypassing as a psychological defence mechanism risks individuals of stagnated emotional growth or even greater psychological suffering (Ahmad et al., 2022). While Picciotto et al. (2018) believe that spiritual bypass primarily functions as a means to an end (i.e., alleviating feelings of psychological pain and emptiness), Master (2010) hypothesised further that as a collective society, we tend to prefer short-term solutions to long-term problems, and hence gravitate towards such practices for immediate gratification.

Even though spiritual bypassing may function as an adaptive coping mechanism to reduce the impact of psychological harm posed by trauma (e.g., Fox et al., 2017), it is more commonly associated with avoidant coping strategies, yielding various negative outcomes such as co-dependence (i.e., blind allegiance to spirituality and neglecting personal responsibility), emotional turmoil, and anxiety (e.g., Cashwell et al., 2007; 2010).

Signs that You are Spiritual Bypassing

While spiritual bypass is traditionally associated with the practice of religiosity and spirituality-related acts or beliefs, it is also often a coping mechanism used by non-religious individuals – one that is often practised without being acknowledged as such. According to Picciotto et al. (2018) in their research on individuals who experienced spiritual bypassing, spiritual bypassing may present itself in the following ways:

1. Isolating oneself from people and the world

2. Avoiding confrontations with emotional conflicts

3. Sense of spiritual narcissism (e.g., acting spiritually superior to others, believing spiritual practices are always beneficial)

4. Blind following (i.e., blind trust in a spiritual leader)

5. Avoiding personal responsibilities (e.g., at work, school, life)

6. Emotional dissociation

7. Avoiding feelings of anger

8. Exaggerated optimism (i.e., believing things are fine when they are not)

9. Believing that there is a silver lining behind every negative event

While the signs outlined above do not paint an exhaustive list of how spiritual bypassing might present itself, it is generally important to ask yourself whether the method you use to cope is dismissing a psychologically charged situation so that you can feel better.

Strategies to Avoid Spiritual Bypassing

While healthy expressions of spirituality assist one in their personal growth, spiritual bypassing impedes the very same growth. The tips described below are some of the ways we can “bypass” the tendency to spiritually bypass:

1. Allow yourself to experience negative emotions. It could be beneficial to avoid labelling emotions as inherently good or bad, but instead allow yourself to non-judgementally experience these emotions with unconditional acceptance – after all, all emotional states are only temporary.

2. Understand that we experience negative emotions for a reason. It could be useful for us to remember that negative experiences are inevitable, and instead of neglecting these emotions, we should use these experiences as a springboard to propel us to personal growth.

3. Speak to a mental health professional/ psychotherapist. While some negative events or trauma may render us unable to cope, psychotherapy stands as one of the most beneficial tools for working with traumatic events. We should remember that actively avoiding unresolved issues through bypassing will only exacerbate the negative emotions associated with them in the long run.

Spirituality and its associated practices (e.g., astrology) can serve as a source of inspiration and an avenue for introspection. However, dependence on such practices and ignoring negative experiences in our lives can be drastically detrimental to our psychological well-being. By understanding and avoiding spiritual bypassing, spirituality can then be leveraged as an adaptive coping strategy for us to live enriching and meaningful lives.

References

Ahmad, S. S., McLaughlin, M. M., & Weisman de Mamani, A. (2022). Spiritual bypass as a moderator of the relationships between religious coping and psychological distress in Muslims living in the United States. Psychology of Religion and Spirituality. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/rel0000469

Cashwell, C. S., Bentley, P. B., & Yarborough, J. P. (2007). The Only Way Out is Through: The Peril of Spiritual Bypass. Counseling and Values, 51(2), 139–148. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2161-007X.2007.tb00071.x

Cashwell, C. S., Glosoff, H. L., & Hammond, C. (2010). Spiritual bypass: A preliminary investigation. Counseling and Values, 54(2), 162–174. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2161-007X.2010.tb00014.x

Masters, R. A. (2010). Spiritual bypassing: When spirituality disconnects us from what really matters. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books.

Picciotto, G., Fox, J., & Neto, F. (2018). A phenomenology of spiritual bypass: Causes, consequences, and implications. Journal of Spirituality in Mental Health, 20(4), 333–354. https://doi.org/10.1080/19349637.2017.1417756

Welwood, J. (1984). Principles of inner work: Psychological and spiritual. Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 16(1), 63–73.