The #softgirl Era: A Slow Living Guide for Everybody

“I’m scared that life will pass me by,” a close friend confided in me recently over a cup of coffee. “I’m afraid that I’ll wake up one day, realise I’m 50 years old, and wonder where all the time has gone.” It is a valid worry, and one I personally relate to. Deep down, I am also worried that I’ll #hustle and #girlboss my way through life without stopping to smell the flowers.

Enter the “soft girl” revolution: where many young women no longer prioritise the grind after burning out. It is the rejection of today’s hyper-capitalist society, but some take it further by turning to more traditional “feminine” pursuits like being a wife and having children. Its criticisms are valid though, as some say that it promotes the traditional gender norms that women have tried so hard to break out of, and that this “soft girl” energy excludes people who do not conform to the typical female identity (e.g. non-binary people). Further, not every soft-girl can stay at home while their partners work: some households require a dual income just to stay afloat.

There is, however, a more inclusive way of approaching this topic: the concept of slow living—which has been around for far longer than a fleeting TikTok hashtag trend—and is perhaps way more doable.

Start with being mindful of the small, simple things.

In my other blog post, “Tiny Moments of Joy: Glimmers and Where To Find Them”, I wrote about the concept of glimmers, or the smaller things in life one can be grateful for. They can range from the smell of freshly-baked bread to the warmth of the sun against your skin to just about anything else really, but the main idea is that if we just be present, we can appreciate the small, specific luxuries life has to offer.

Take inventory of your time.

While productivity gurus often extol the pros of taking an inventory of your time, it can also be a useful tool in identifying what does not serve you anymore. Alyse Bacine, a spiritual mentor and breathwork practitioner, recommends listing down the things you do on a daily basis and seeing if they serve you, or if they do not make you happy. An example that we might notice is that we are spending more time than we’d like on social media, and so we can explore ways to replace it with something else that makes us happier. Make time for the people you love, and the things you enjoy doing.

Practise mindful self-care.

Self-care, according to who we ask, can look like prioritising wholesome foods and rest, but it can also look like heavy drinking and endless shopping. While there is inherently nothing wrong with the occasional alcoholic beverage or online purchase, it becomes a problem when we turn to them frequently as a coping mechanism, or for dopamine hits. 

Enjoy nature.

Nature is the perfect place to practise mindfulness, to appreciate the here and now. Whether it be a garden, park, or hiking trail, take some time to appreciate the surroundings, nature always teaches us one thing: that nothing happens immediately, so we should let things come at their own time.

Disconnect.

Create little pockets of tech-free time, where you can sit alone with a book, your lunch, or even do a five-minute meditation. Sometimes this could even mean unplugging your earphones and just appreciating silence or the noises of the world around you. There are various ways to cultivate a sense of stillness from not relying on technology.

Curious about the link between hustle culture and declining mental health? Read this article.