Tips to navigate the loss of a celebrity
The world stands still for those mourning the untimely death of One Direction’s Liam Payne. Whether they knew him personally or not, fans across generations are left feeling lost and heartbroken, adrift without the star they grew up listening to. In the hours following his death, hundreds of Argentinian fans gathered outside the hotel Payne had been staying at, setting up a makeshift memorial, singing One Direction songs, and shedding tears. The fans who just met could be seen comforting each other while finding it hard to grasp Liam’s departure. Many stated it was the “end of their childhood”.
We often feel a deep connection with people we can resonate with, including celebrities we often see on screens. They unknowingly become an integral part of our lives, offering a sense of comfort and inspiration. We look up to them, not just for their work, but for the moments they share with us. So, when sudden news of their passing breaks, our world comes crashing down. It feels surreal— with many of us struggling to accept the reality, leaving us grappling with the disbelief that a star who shone so bright is no longer with us.
Why do we mourn a celebrity’s death?
Losing someone is always difficult, even when that someone is a person we never met. Mourning the death of a celebrity can feel complicated, as it may not always be validated by those around us. Yet, our connection with them — through their work, art, or influence — can hold a special place in our hearts.
1. We feel a sense of connection with them — a personal attachment
Many of us form parasocial relationships with celebrities. Parasocial relationships can be described as a one-sided relationship/bond with media figures in which one person invests time, energy and affection, while the media figures often remain unaware of the relationship.
The connection we create with them has a unique emotional depth for many of us— it is a reminder of ‘good times,’ ‘fun memories,’ or ‘new friends’ we make along the way, say while attending their fan meetings or concerts.
Ariana, a fan from Lanús, with Rolling Stone Argentina, shares, “One Direction represents my growth as a teenager — mine and my friends.” She recalls a friend’s 15th birthday party, where every detail — from the cake to the decorations — was One Direction-themed, a night of screaming and dancing with joy. That connection never faded, even as they grew older, with many karaoke nights soundtracked with the band’s songs.
“Since we met them, the band filled us with joy, with euphoria. They accompanied us in happy moments. And also, they accompanied us in the sad moments of our growth,’ she reflects.”
We may also feel connected with a celebrity whom we have seen grow, say child artists. It triggers a loss of our own experiences, a loss of a ‘friend’.
2. We identify with the celebrity
Many celebrities we admire share life experiences or upbringings similar to our own. We identify with their journeys, finding a sense of belonging in their stories — sometimes their work speaks for entire communities. So, when they pass away, it can feel as if a part of our own identity fades with them. Some of us spend hours creating fan art, and after their death, we grapple with a profound emptiness, unsure how to preserve their memory.
They also inspire us to strive harder. For instance, someone might aspire to be like a famous basketball player. Watching them play their matches can be a great source of inspiration, motivating many to work hard and stay dedicated. With their death, we can feel ‘lost’.
3. Their work provides us comfort in our dark days
Artists leave behind a legacy through their work, offering us comfort in times of need. Take music, for instance, it becomes a refugee, a haven when the world becomes overwhelming and challenging. Their art can bring us peace, providing us hope in dark times.
Reflecting on Liam’s passing, Melina shares that she’s been a devoted fan since the age of 11. For her, their music was a constant source of comfort, resonating on a level that no other artist could — making her feel “accompanied”. Her room walls were once covered with their photos, and even her school folders, necklaces, and bracelets were adorned with pictures.
4. We are a fan of their work
Knowing there will be no more art from a beloved celebrity can be heart-wrenching. The realisation that we will never get another book, film, or album again leaves us with an irreplaceable void. We mourn not just their passing, but also the characters or the stories they could have brought to life. It’s as though the inspiration has been cut short.
How can we navigate the loss of a celebrity?
Acknowledging our feelings is the first step in navigating a loss. Even though we may not have known the celebrities personally, it does not discount the significance or validity of our grief. So, allow yourself to grieve their death.
1. Express your condolences — Talk to other fans who are also grieving the celebrity
Connecting and reconnecting with the online community/fandom — people who share a love for the same celebrities— can provide a source of comfort. Celebrities have a unique ability to unite individuals through their work. This social support can help one cope with their grief.
“I’m with girls I don’t know, or that I’m meeting for the first time, but we’re all together going through this, this situation, this mourning.”
- Ariana expressed after Liam’s passing
Remember, it’s okay to seek comfort from others, as they are likely going through the same emotional rollercoaster as you. Expressing your feelings, whether by talking or writing, even on social media, can help you process sadness.
When the beloved K-pop idol Moon Bin of ASTRO tragically passed away on April 19, 2023, the hashtags #moonbin and #MoonBinWeLoveYou trended on Twitter globally with over 2.6 million tweets.
“Moonbin has such an infectious smile that could light up a room & the most beautiful heart. My deepest condolences go out to his family, friends, Astro, arohas (fans) & everyone who loved him so dearly, rest in peace Moonbin, you’ll forever be our sunshine.”
- A fan wrote on Twitter
2. Attend a public/makeshift memorial
Attending the memorial allows people to pay their respects— honour the celebrity’s memory and express how much they meant to them. By leaving flowers, candles, and letters at the altar, fans create a sense of unity as they share their collective grief. Coming together, they recount their memories of the celebrities and how their presence and work have impacted their lives. This act can be an important step towards acceptance and healing.
Tyler, a fan of Liam Payne, left a letter taped to a tree outside the hotel. The tree is adorned with photos of Liam, a British flag, and around thirty letters where fans bid farewell to the singer. Someone brought heavy-duty tape, and they shared notepads and pens. The handwritten, emotional farewells bring back memories from distant years and express a shared wish for the artist, who, to them, has become an angel: "Fly high."
Similarly, after MoonBin’s passing, fans set up memorials in various countries, leaving behind flowers, photo cards, and letters to mourn the loss. In India, Memorial services were conducted by AROHA INDIA (an Indian fan base of ASTRO) in Mumbai, Delhi and Pune.
3. Revisit the celebrity’s old work
When we lose someone, we often find ourselves going through old pictures, reminiscing about the moments we shared with them. You can do the same when grieving the loss of a celebrity. Revisit their movies, listen to their last album, or engage with their work. It can help you keep that connection alive, even after they are gone.
4. Prioritise self-care
Grieving is difficult. If you find yourself struggling, it's okay to take a break from social media. Prioritise your well-being by getting adequate sleep, nourishing your body, and staying active. If needed, seek out professional help.
While the celebrity may have passed, their art lives on forever. They are never truly gone; they remain alive in our memories and the lasting impact they create in the lives of those they’ve touched— whether through their work or acts of kindness.
References
Parasocial relationships and how they affect our mental health | Melanie Shim | Calm Collective https://www.calmcollective.asia/blog/parasocial-relationships-and-how-they-affect-our-mental-health?rq=celebrity
Remembering Liam Payne [@updatingljp]. (2024, October 20). The memorial for Liam in Paris. [Image attached] [Post]. X. https://x.com/updatingljp/status/1847982282344149194