Detaching my personality from my profession
When meeting someone new, how do you introduce yourself? I bet many of us default to our names, and what we do for a living or what we are studying. (Plus points if we can unabashedly mention the organization we work for or the school we study at.)
Entering adulthood, I figured it would finally be easier to introduce myself with concrete work experience under my belt - no need to conjure up some half-interesting quirk when my job could speak for itself! Ironically, as I entered that stage, all I wanted was to go back to the days when I could just say “Hi, I’m Mika, and my favourite colour is blue.” Oh, how simple life was back then.
As someone with high-functioning anxiety, I have always attached people’s perceptions of me to my work and how I carry out my responsibilities. This concept of my personality traversed through school clubs, my university degree, and my job. With everything I had done, my story looked like it made sense. So far, so good. That is, until a strange turn of events thanks to my existential crises. Despite having a seemingly stable narrative, it was as if I wasn’t so sure of myself anymore. Who am I, really? Will I be remembered as someone who did this sort of thing all my life? Is this all I’ll ever be?
Long story short, by the end of 2021, I decided to leave my standard corporate job and started the new year as a junior faculty member at my university. Aside from that, I’m also relishing in the zest of learning, writing, and playing around with music. Don’t get me wrong; I can’t say I’m finally living my dream life and this is the perfect work-life blend for me. I’m not saying that I’m closing the corporate doors forever, or that this stint in academia will be a one-time thing. I’m still in my twenties, so I have a lot of exploring to do. At the same time, I want to start nurturing my mindset and energy to navigate my endeavours in a way that feels most like ‘me.’ As a young professional in constant search for meaning, here are some reminders that have helped me cultivate calm along the journey:
1. Work is but an aspect of life.
One time, I told my manager I’d clock in on a holiday to beat a project deadline. He said no. He told me that I would’ve wasted a day’s worth of precious time with myself and my family. His comment made me realize that we already give so much of ourselves to our jobs - to the point of refusing to rest when we’re sick. Overtime becomes a badge of honour despite hating it. Do we save a portion of ourselves for other things that matter, and dare I say, things that should matter more? To ensure I make the most of my day, I make it a point to carve out time for what I enjoy and be fully present to savour the moment. I hope this article prompts you to give others the space to live their lives too. After all, we’re all just figuring out our own bearings.
2. Humans are multi-faceted.
Of course, I recognize the privilege I have to explore and tend to my various interests and childhood fantasies. Whether or not a career shift is in question, however, I think what is important is that we remember to celebrate who we are beyond work – quirks, hobbies, and all. Just because something isn’t an income source doesn’t mean we can’t invest in it. While most would think of creative outlets, we must caution ourselves against ‘creating’ merely to convert passion into product, or even profit. At the end of the day, we must allow ourselves to have fun just for the heck of it. I, unfortunately, can’t be paid to be a professional fangirl, but I find so much joy and inspiration following different musicians and artists. It’s an indescribable serotonin boost when I lose myself in a completely different world, a momentary escape from the chaos in my head. Additionally, on the days I am down and wondering who I am or who I will be, I at least know that I have a role to play as a daughter, friend, and citizen of this world.
3. Going for a ‘non-standard’ course doesn’t ruin your narrative, nor does it eliminate anxieties.
Taking the risk to go for something I had always wanted to try, gave me a sense of relief. On the other hand, I was also plagued with worries. I wondered if this ‘break’ would affect my chances of going back to the corporate world. As a first-time teacher, I grappled (and still grapple) with how to teach effectively and empathize with my students. More than anything, I was wary people would think of my self-determined “nomadic” career trajectory as a hot mess, unlike those who seemed to have everything figured out. However, as I zoomed out of the individual chapters of my life, I realized what’s far more important is the unifying thread that thematically sums up the purpose I commit to. As long as I live a life chasing those values rather than ticking milestones off a bucket list, I think my narrative will turn out fine.
As a little bonus from your resident tastemaker, I leave you with a song called ‘Beautiful’ from one of my favourite KPOP groups, NCT. Take this as an invitation from the universe: instead of making your profession your personality, strive to let your profession be a channel to allow your personality to shine. After all, you are much more than your LinkedIn profile or your CV. I hope you realize just how special you are!